Jen and Gary first met in 2008 at a gathering arranged by their friends, Alison and Dave. One of their very first conversations was a hypothetical one about marriage. Jen, divorced, was vehemently against it while Gary, also divorced, was open to considering it. Jen mocked Gary for being stupid. “Marriage is just an invitation to your partner to take you for granted,” she said.
Their subsequent conversations were apparently much more agreeable for them, since they became a couple the following year. Neither forgot the other’s views on marriage but having it off the table meant they could talk about more worthy subjects.
When they applied in 2011 to live in their current apartment, the real estate agent said, “The people who own this building, they’re old fashioned. So, by the way, you’re married.” The interview with their landlord began, “Are you married?” A long, awkward pause ensued. He proceeded to negate his own question by stating, “It does not really matter if you are or not.” All he really wanted to hear them say was, “Yes, you will get your rent money even if we have a melodramatic meltdown, and no, we will not be colossal pains in your ass.” Throughout the interview, they were consistently convincing on both topics and got the apartment!
While living a very good life with Gary in Brooklyn for five years, Jen realized that being married to Gary would probably be awesome rather than horribly depressing and lonely, which was her previous dictionary’s definition of marriage. However, she didn’t choose the best way to share this epiphany with Gary. She sprang a spontaneous elopement scheme on him and he was completely confused and unable to take her seriously.
But within a couple of weeks Gary had made his peace with the fact that Jen had: (a) secretly talked herself into marrying him, (b) proposed to herself on his behalf, (c) replied in the affirmative, and (d) purchased and started wearing a Swarovski engagement ring. Gary is totally easy going. Jen is really going to try to include him more in her decision-making process, though, because she feels a little bit guilty about the whiplash she gave him. She gives great shoulder and neck massages, though, so Gary is in really good hands.